The Sad Tale of Howard the Duck

Howard, Ben and Jerry are three wood ducks that live at the Opryland Hotel. Wood ducks are different from other ducks, because they don't quack - they just squeak.

Unfortunately, Howard is now a dead duck. His little duck body was found last week by a hotel employee.

Howard was a good duck.

Many people don't know that his full name was Howard John McCain.

Howard was often a loner.

Sometimes he didn't move so well.

He was also a maverick. When the other party of ducks (Ben and Jerry) was mean to him, he often tried to cross party lines to make peace and to cooperate with the other side.

He once had a swimming mate named Sarah. Sarah could see another section of the hotel from her house.

But, alas and alack, one day Howard was heard from no more.

In the words of the poet, Henry Waddlesworth Duckfellow:

One time Howard had a mate.

But then, by a sad twist of fate

A pizza choked her really bad.

She died, and made him very sad.

For many months he did not speak;

He never quacked and rarely squeaked.

But then one day - this is no joke -

He didn't quack or squeak; he croaked.